Falling Apart

Why The Best Thing You Can Be In Life Is Dreadfully Afraid

January 11, 2016
Why The Best Thing You Can Be In Life Is Terribly Afraid

The sun is setting slowly beside me. I can feel it kiss my cheek as the day goes to let itself out. I can hear the stars whispering and ready to accept our wishes.

But it’s up to the sun to come back again, for us to follow our dreams.

When the sun starts to fade, and the night comes to take its place, I cannot help but feel afraid. I don’t fear the dark, and I don’t fear the light either. I fear the end. I fear the fact that another day has come and gone and I’m not sure if I spent it right or if I spent it wrong.

How do we know, really? If we’ve done all that we could, and if we used each day to the fullest potential? Does the sun really kiss you on the cheek when it leaves, or does it slap you on the face for wasting it? Is it really us disappointing the world, or is the world disappointing us?

And does it all even matter, after all? Why does it matter what we’ve done before the sun starts to fall? Because it does. Because that’s the only thing that can.

And it’s because it’s up to us to keep the days moving, to keep the world turning, to keep dreams from staying within our sleep, and to keep believing that there can be more. So it’s okay to be afraid when the sun starts to fade, because that’s the best time to be.

When the day comes to an end, we should very well fear its departure. Because it’s that fear that you go to bed with. It’s that trepidation that you lay your head on when you fall asleep. And the more you fear, the more determination you’ll wake up with.

The bigger your fears, the bigger your resolves. Fall asleep afraid and wake up valiant. Wake up with strength sleeping beside you and passion on your pillow. Wake up and go take on the world while the sun is still up in the sky. Take over your fears before the sun kisses you goodnight.

Let yesterday’s fears become today’s accomplishments. 

So be afraid that you’ll never find the job of your dreams, or that you’ll never rise in the one you have.

So be afraid that you’ll never get over your heartbreak, or never find the right type of love that will want to stay.

So be afraid that you’ll never have enough money to get you the things that you so crave or get you to the places you desire.

So be afraid that you’ll never have enough time to see the world or to be somebody in that world.

So be afraid that you’ll never be what you’ve wanted to be, or that you’ll stay lost on some road you don’t remember turning on.

So be afraid that your dreams are so big and your desire so strong that you’re not sure how long you can hold on to it.

So be afraid that you’ll never be enough. That you’re not tough enough. That you’re not kind or smart enough.

But you are enough.

You are more than enough. And the only thing you’ll never have is endless days to figure it out. So use the ones you have. Fear them because they are limited, but find power in the fact that they are yours.

Fear the night but love the morning. Because the morning brings you a new opportunity and another chance to be everything you’ve always wanted to be. It gives you the time you don’t think you have. So use it. Do not waste it.

The sun is setting slowly behind me. And I am dreadfully scared. I am afraid of not seeing enough of the world or falling in love the way that I write about love. I am afraid, but I will sleep with this fear and I will make it into something.

I will wake up stronger, kinder, happier, and wiser than before. I will do this, every single morning, because that’s just how big my dreams are. And one day I will wake up and realize I’ve accomplished everything I’ve dreamed of.

I’ll do it all because I did not give into my fears, but used them and embraced them instead. I feared so much that I conquered them all. I learned how to not fall with the sun, but to rise with it…

… every day better than before.


Originally published on Rebelle Society

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  • Reply Paola from Coral Gables Love January 11, 2016 at 4:45 pm

    I think you would really enjoy Elizabeth Gilbert’s take on fear and living a creative life in her latest book Big Magic.

    • Reply Sonya Matejko January 11, 2016 at 4:51 pm

      I always love Elizabeth Gilbert’s quotes. I search for them on occasion when I need a pick-me-up, so I’ll absolutely add this book to my reading list. Thank you Paola!

  • Reply Kerry January 11, 2016 at 7:10 pm

    Is it possible you read my mind with this post?
    Loving this.

    • Reply Sonya Matejko January 12, 2016 at 9:03 am

      Love that you loved it! Must be kindred spirits 🙂

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