Single Strides

What I Learned On Match.com: The 22 Best Pick-Up Lines Thus Far

March 22, 2016
What I Learned On Match.com: The 22 Best Pick-Up Lines Thus Far

On February 2nd I was casually perusing my @SingleStrides Twitter account when I saw a contest from Match.com I thought my followers would love. So naturally I retweeted it for them.

Only to see this 30 minutes later:
Things I Learned In My Match.com Membership

Look at that, a single girl won her first contest ever (accidentally) for a dating subscription right before Valentine’s Day. Well after I got over my fit of laughter I realized this was actually kind of lucky. I was moving to a new city after all, wasn’t I?

So I decided to take it seriously – as seriously as I could. The first day of setting up my profile I was weirdly excited, because I thought it had to be better than Tinder if people were paying $40+/mo. for the membership.

I also thought that NYC’s zip code would provide better options than Miami’s typical “aye mami” or “bottles at LIV tn?” However, 150 messages, 75 winks, and 100 photo likes in 24 hours later (from people whose screen names resembled my crush’s in 1999 on AIM)… I was skeptical.

So now for your enjoyment I put together my favorite lines from Match.com via Manhattan’s zip-code:
  • Tho honestly I wouldn’t mind seeing you soaked in the summer heat 😉 – BryGangstaSaurus (kill me quickly)
  • Something tells me that you might have 200 messages a day from guys that are 60 years old saying “Wazup, I just got divorced from my fifth wife, have twenty kids… but the good news is that I have a good chance at finally getting a job in Mc Donalds…etc. – Iggie Marino (something tells me this is his life story)
  • HI – Charmingebyjoon (should maybe change his screen name?)
  • Oh the writing on the singlestrides likes poetry – SamS8806 (thank you, Sam)
  • That panda picture is so cool. Where did you travel that you saw pandas – JHB0512 (oh c’mon, it’s photo shopped but you’re sadly not the first to ask)
  • Not sure why you’d want to come to NYC from Miami. Our subways are grimy, we don’t have nude beaches, and it’s slightly less acceptable to buy drugs from some guy named Steve. – nickjomaffa (Nick really nailed Miami)
  • Awww a look but no response? 🙁 – rboom213 (stop it)
  • Swing by and watch a movie at my place tonight. – InformalUrbanite (no, I only like format urbanites)
  • i love water – dmittry (I love the really thoughtful insight that went into this one)
  • BTW do you think you can be my personal trainer lalka? – gotham198o (“lalka” translates to “doll” in Polish… aka GTFO)
  • Quick question, do you know who Bruno Mars is? Please answer me – gmanworld12 (lololol I don’t think I want to marry you)
  • No response? Not good enough? – Floaton0408 (what is the point in sending these?)
  • Do you believe in casual hookups? – abroy84 (not with you dude)
  • Let me get this straight. You like to travel, enjoy trying new things, AND well-rounded, yet you’re fun and silly. There must be SOMETHING wrong with you. Is it webbed toes?… I’m going with webbed toes… lol – mysterious_vin (it’s mysterious why you’re single)
  • hey my little pierogi, whatcha been up to?? – snoopdog7 (he was one of the promising ones *sigh*)
  • I hate my age )) God bless – Kyle544 (really sorry to hear that Kyle)
  • HOW ARE YOU!!! – 1havaclub (WHY ARE YOU WRITING IN ALL CAPS? DO YOU HAVE A CLUB??)
  • Im really ambitious too but cant seem to find someone to match me – nickg25 (insert sad face emoji)
  • so exactly how many cats do you own? – Matt_hew (lol, good one Matthew)
  • Look, I totally understand Sonya… It’s because I haven’t put my shirtless bathroom mirror iPhone pic up yet, isn’t it? I promise I’ll have it online, 6-pack abs and flexing muscles, by the end of the week. 😉 Let’s chat, A – FarBey0ndDriven_ (I hate you)
  • Were you raised by pandas? – SmoothCrush (yes, yes I was #AOII)
  • Do you blog to eat free pizza or for the cause of pizza? – Dbasile (that’s a very important question)
It really makes you want to sign up doesn’t it? At this point I kind of prefer Tinder, and pizza.

On another note! Not everyone seemed undateable at first. There were a few where I guessed it was time to give my number to because I wanted to get to know them better. Well, I guessed wrong (it only took a handful of unanswered texts and one awkward phone call to figure that out), but you have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince right?

So have I had success in my the first month and a half on Match.com? Not at all. Have I given up yet? Not yet, because after all I’m a girl who believes in love. So I’ll ride out the rest of this membership and maybe I’ll be lucky enough to find a unicorn.

Where you at bae?

SINGLE_STRIDES_LOGO

Originally published on 20some.com

6 Comments

  • Reply Nicole March 22, 2016 at 11:29 am

    I love this! Worst line from OkCupid has to be where the guy said I looked liked sexy school teacher … easy to say I didn’t respond haha

    • Reply Sonya Matejko March 22, 2016 at 12:55 pm

      OMG haha I would definitely not respond to that either!!!

  • Reply Charlotte Steggz April 9, 2016 at 7:41 am

    I have a rule now that I don’t give out my number until I’ve met them.
    I had zero luck on match.com – and be careful it automatically charges you for the next month without asking you!!

    • Reply Sonya Matejko April 11, 2016 at 10:44 am

      Hi Charlotte! Did you just make plans at a certain location prior to giving out your number? How did that work? As for the charge, since I have a free membership I didn’t have to put a card in luckily 🙂

  • Reply Edward April 24, 2016 at 1:09 am

    Smiling all the way to the last period. This was great… As I see this online culture from a different side, I could not help but relate in a way to these guys. Not in their select phrasing, but with the general awkwardness of approaching someone online. Such an unnatural act that can go sour with even the simplest of mis-understandings. I grant you good fortune in your quest for love..

    I look forward to reading, Sonya.

    Edward

    • Reply Sonya Matejko April 24, 2016 at 8:44 pm

      I’m so glad you liked the post, Edward! It’s also a very interesting insight you provided about relating to the guys on the other side of the article. I think I’ll use that for inspiration for a future article based on my personal rejection(s). Thank you for that!

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