“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” — Oscar Wilde
I’ve come to accept that I am single for another Valentine’s Day. The difference this year is that even though I am single, I consider myself to be in a healthy relationship. That relationship is with solely with me, myself, and I. Trust me, it’s not as crazy as it sounds.
It isn’t about anything cheesy like new year resolutions or loving myself first. It’s simply that I’ve come to embrace who I am, to get to know her and to grow into who I am meant to be whatever it takes.
And sometimes, I also like to take myself on dates and buy myself flowers – because why the f*ck not?
The other day I found myself watching this really adorable couple on my plane and wondering what their Valentine’s Day plans were. I even browsed a Valentine’s Day article with the best gift suggestions for your significant other.
Neither of those things bothered me, made me feel lonely, or stopped me from what I was doing to think about my marital status. I was happy for that couple and I, strangely enough, enjoyed the products in the gift guide.
Why am I so at ease with being single? Because I decided to learn how to enjoy being alone with myself until someone comes around who I like better and would rather also hang out with. Until then, I’ve come to enjoy my own company.
Of course, I’d love to travel the world with someone I love, pick out baby names (as if I don’t have a secret list already), introduce someone great to my family, and everything that comes with finding a significant other you want to take on life with.
Yeah, of course I want those things, but at this moment in my life, it’s just not something that I need.
The only relationship I’m currently focusing on is the one I have with myself. And to be honest, it’s been a lot of fun to figure myself out. Not only did I move myself to a new city last year, but I have actively pushed myself out of my comfort zone once I did.
Sure, I could list out things that I’m doing but it wouldn’t be the same for everybody. It’s about finding what works for you. For instance, I learned that yoga is something that I absolutely need in my life to keep balance, and also that I shouldn’t reprimand myself when I give in to having chocolate.
For you, maybe it’s about trying out a detox to gain some clarity, finding a side hustle you’re passionate about, switching careers, taking up an instrument, or taking a life-changing solo trip. The key is trying out different things and learning what you enjoy, what you need, and what you’re afraid of that you need to overcome.
I can’t provide the recipe for being in a relationship with yourself. It kinda just happens naturally, the way that relationships with someone else seem to. It was just one moment when I realized I was starting to discover who I was and that I liked what I was finding.
So lately I don’t feel too lonely. I’m excited about chasing new dreams and old dreams, and glad to have pinpointed bad habits that I need to stop. I’m happy for people finding their happily ever after’s, and I’m also happy to be writing to prologue to my own.
I’m even planning on celebrating Valentine’s Day this year, in a way that celebrates where I am in life. I’ll cook myself something nice, buy that expensive wine, give myself a facial, and then maybe opt to see Fifty Shades with a gal pal if I’m feeling frisky.
What about you, are you going to celebrate yourself too?