Single Strides

This Is What 6 Months of Single Strides Looks Like

November 3, 2014
photo 4-2

Six months ago I took my first stride.

I am thankful to each and every one of you that has read, commented, and shared my writing. Those hopeless romantics that have emailed me their stories and asked for my advice from all over the world have truly touched me. Because the truth is, I still to this day don’t know how to take my own advice.

I started this blog promising candid recollections of the strides I was taking, and it ended up as a journey of self discovery. I also started this blog heartbroken. Am I completely over it? Probably not, but I have made more progress than I could’ve imagined six months ago. I put myself out there and tried to find that spark again. A few suitors truly made me smile, but most were somewhere along the lines of late night pizza ventures, awkward text conversations, and failed dates.

I finally did get that exciting moment where someone asked me, “Are you going to write about me in your blog?” Taylor Swift status, guys.

The main thing I’ve learned is that I don’t need another human to make me happy. Sure, sometimes it’s nice to have someone to text, to go to dinner with, and to fall asleep next to. But in these six months I’ve forged such great friendships that take the place of all those things until the right person comes along. I’d rather group chat my friends, eat like were obese at dinner, and wake up next to them only to laugh at the fools we were the night before, than I would waste my time with someone other than my soul mate.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I want to stay single forever. Although given the fact I’ve fully embraced “cat lady” (i.e. see loaded Facebook wall) this may be inevitable. Just kidding. This once cynical girl has turned into an eternal optimist. Eventually, I will fall head over heels again and I won’t look back in regret. Instead I’ll look back at this blog. I’ll look back at what I accomplished from my first published article on Elite Daily, to the article that is being printed in a magazine for 40,000+ college students in Dubai.

I am damn proud of what that broken heart got me to do.

I’ll look back on single life, because it’s nothing to be afraid of. We’re in our early twenties so why not act like it before we can’t? Because honestly I probably drank too much, I fell in love at midnight too much, I tripped over myself too much, and I likely have too many embarrassing stories for a 23-year-old in the real world to have. I’m not even using the “I just broke up with my bf I loved foreverandever” shit anymore. I don’t need an excuse to enjoy life the way I see fit. So in six months I’ve owned up to it. I like to have fun. I like cats. I like my vodka extra cold. I like staying out late. I like Netflix binges. I like to sit on  the beach or the sidewalk on my lunch break to write.

In six months I’ve traveled to many places. I got a tattoo. I got a promotion. I’ve written the hell out of my heart. I got a headstand in yoga. I got a new fancy gym membership, and started to (finally) get tan again. I lived on. I’m not crying about living in Miami, actually, I’m crying the weekends I have to leave Miami #fomo. I no longer look for plans because “my life is over without my ex,” I make my own plans. Did I ever back track? Sure, what girl hasn’t? You make an excuse in your head and you roll with it as if it’s a smart idea. It’s not. It’s stupid. Really, it’s plain fucking retarded but, hey we all have to learn.

And I learned that one step back to the past doesn’t counteract the bazillion I’ve already taken for my future.

So to all the people looking for something more, the people afraid to change, the people anxious about letting go… It’s never to late to create the life you deserve. Go after it with every fiber of your being. Mold your own destiny into what is rightfully yours. You have all the power in the world to make your dreams a reality – you just have to believe in yourself. Sometimes you have to fall so that you can look up and see all the opportunities you were missing. Or sometimes it’s right in front of you but you don’t have the guts to reach for it. Well, I suggest you take that first stride today.

Because you’ll never get to where you’re meant to go by standing still.

And as for me? I hope you’ll continue to follow my journey. You can expect more inspiration, less sappy shit, and a whole lot of embarrassing recounts. Because I am nothing close to perfect. I am nothing close to healed. But I think imperfection is beautiful. And I think that scars will one day tell the best stories. So here is to more life and all the single strides ahead.

“I walked a million miles until I got to the one step that changed everything.

– Sonya Matejko

23 Comments

  • Reply tellmesomethingbeautiful November 3, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    Amazing 🙂

  • Reply tellmeimnotthelonelyone November 3, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    You should definitely take pride in any strength gained from destruction. Before you were broken you were one person, but the person you are now is what YOU created from the debris. Unfortunately, some can’t salvage much that is useful after falling apart. The ones that do…tend to shine like no other.
    I remember physics class in high school when our teacher told us about the stars. He explained that most of the stars that we see in the sky died a long time ago…but we still see the light from them because they were so far away…and the light took so long to travel this far. I thought that that was the most profound thing. That something that “died” long ago, could still be seen was amazing to me. I want that to be my heart and my love. I dust myself off and put myself back together and try to shine as brightly as I can, and hope that my light will be seen long after I’m gone.

    • Reply Single Strides November 3, 2014 at 10:58 pm

      That is such a beautiful way to look at being reborn (through the heart at least). I absolutely love your perspective on the topic and admire your view point. Thank you for leaving such a lovely comment!

  • Reply anniecolletti November 3, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    Big huge congrats to you. At age 23 you’ve realized something most people haven’t: you hold the key to your own happiness. An additional congrats to you on your Elite Daily post and Dubai publication. Everything in life has a lesson and a purpose, and it looks like this breakup had a great purpose for you in the end!

    • Reply Single Strides November 3, 2014 at 10:59 pm

      Thank you so much, Annie! Finding that key to happiness is quite the accomplishment 🙂

  • Reply sncueto November 3, 2014 at 6:21 pm

    Amazing! Way to go girl. Also, I love that quote at the end!

  • Reply LilPhilosopher November 3, 2014 at 6:32 pm

    It’s always a pleasure reading your work. I read something and was going to incorporate it into my next piece, but I’ll share just a bit with you here, you get a first peak :-).
    When there’s heartbreak or a tragedy we tend to ask WHY!!! Our human understanding is limited, we’re not able to see into the future, so sometimes we can’t see the whole picture. Sometimes the why isn’t the right question, because even in heartbreak, even in tragedy there can be growth. By taking away the thing that’s painful, you’ll take away the opportunity for growth. You’ll miss out on the new character that gets built, a better character helps build a better version of yourself.
    Listening to you speak about where you’ve come in the past 6 months is a kind of testament to how you can grow through pain. What I’m not saying is that we should be happy for heartbreaks, it’s still painful, and intentionally seeking pain is, well that’s something else.
    Despite whatever cosmic reasons why certain things happen, I’m more focused on the opportunities for growth that we experience. As I read about your journey, it reminds me of my own that I’m embarking on, and that I should take each day as it comes, “with a single stride at a time”

    • Reply Single Strides November 3, 2014 at 11:01 pm

      You always understand my posts so well, I love it!! Thank you for always reading through my work. It is greatly appreciated. I will definitely keep an eye out for a similar piece that you write. It is true that we can grow through pain, and we may end up even better because of it. Such a beautiful lesson life sometimes throws at us.

      • Reply LilPhilosopher November 4, 2014 at 12:02 am

        Lol don’t give me too much credit, I read your post right after I had written my first draft. I think it’s kinda cool how something that’s primed in my mind, I hear others writing about it too. Perhaps it’s because it’s on my mind that I see it, but I think it’s got a bigger cosmic implication aside from chance. The thing I like about your writing is that you can pull away from yourself, and look back, be totally introspective. A friend of my once told me, “don’t seek to know yourself, seek to understand yourself!” At first I felt that those two things were the same. She further clarified that “Knowing” sounds like something final, where understanding is more evolving. Meaning that if you Know yourself, you may not try to learn anything new. While understanding yourself, means you’re open to evolving. I think you’ve discovered the latter, you recognize that you’re evolving. Lol one last lesson I’ll share :-). Now I’m in my 30s I understand that I don’t have ALL the answers, and I’m ok with that, afterall I’m evolving into my better self.

  • Reply One Gentleman November 3, 2014 at 11:33 pm

    “But I think imperfection is beautiful.”

    Great post of reflection. I’m sure the journey was a long one, and if you were able to see six months ahead, you could never imagine this. Lol.

    Here’s to wishing you more nights of pizza binges and memories with friends. When the guy you are meant to be with comes along, you’ll know. All the best on your “Single Strides” until then.

    • Reply Single Strides November 4, 2014 at 2:41 pm

      Thank you! Even though six months doesn’t seem like a long time, I feel as if I accomplished a lot more than 6-months worth. I appreciate your kind words of encouragement.

      • Reply One Gentleman November 21, 2014 at 6:49 pm

        It is amazing what you can do, in so little time. On the outside looking in, it was only six months. But on the inside looking out, the challenges you tackled and the person you became–it felt like a lifetime went by. LoL. I know this on a personal level.

  • Reply Ahh! If only I can do it all over again! | LilPhilosopher November 4, 2014 at 3:51 am

    […] from the Church sermon from this weekend. This section seems to add a few more layers. Thank you SingleStrides for your post that also coincided with what I was writing, and is a good segue to a conclusion. […]

  • Reply pepperrblue November 7, 2014 at 6:22 am

    Fantastic -this gives me loads of inspiration and has helped me to begin moulding my path – I can already see my “Year of happiness” is the right choice

  • Reply naomianj15 November 7, 2014 at 6:25 pm

    Congratulations 😀 this such an inspiring post. keep enjoying your independence, fluffy cats and happiness~

    • Reply Single Strides November 7, 2014 at 7:55 pm

      Thank you so much, Naomi! I’m pleased to hear it was inspirational for you 🙂 and yes to fluffy cats all the way, haha.

  • Reply jeddacp November 26, 2014 at 9:52 pm

    I want to be able to write something like this after 6 months too.

    One day…

  • Reply dancinginaugustrain December 16, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    brilliant writing!

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