Falling Apart

Maybe What We Need Is Someone To Escape The World With

September 27, 2016
Maybe What We Need Is Someone To Escape The World With
It feels as if we are always looking for an escape.

At the end of a tough day, we look towards our own personal haven. Whether your haven is working out, binging on horrible TV, engulfing yourself in a good book, or falling asleep early. Because who doesn’t need those things sometimes?

Even at the end of a hard year, we look towards how we can escape the routines, the monotony, and the path we’re on. We look at how we can change it, make new goals, and update old ones. We look at the bigger picture and try to discover a way to change how the picture looks.

We all find escapes differently.

Often times it’s leaving everything we know behind and traveling the world, sans WiFi. Sometimes it’s returning home to gain back some semblance of normalcy. It could even be diving deep into your personal ventures and forgetting about everything  until you succeed.

Even inside of our escapes sometimes it’s as if we cannot concentrate. When you’re traveling with an itinerary you’re always thinking “what’s next?”. Even when you’re in yoga, you’re fighting to let go of the internal voices reminding you what you need to do when you’re done.  And when was the last time you watched TV without also scrolling through your Instagram feed?

We’re all looking for an escape, and we can’t even embrace the ones we find. All of us are lost in a world that’s always moving and it’s something we are always trying to fight. Sometimes we need to escape our jobs, our expectations, our family, our friends, and our resumes.

We all look for an escape, but I want to find someone that would be that for me. How nice it’d be to find someone I’d never want to run from or to find someone that is the home I look for as well as the adventure I crave. I’m looking for someone that is the joy missing in all the monotony.

I want to find a haven in somebody.  

Wouldn’t it be nice to come home to a smile that fixes everything in your world? Or to feel a touch that heals every invisible scar you’ve been carrying? I’m craving this type of escape that exists in the heart of another human being. I crave an escape whose soul was designed to intertwine with my own.

Truthfully, I want to find somebody that I would never want to leave, and someone who doesn’t make me want that silly Rom Com because laughing with them would be the only escape I need. I want to find somebody that removes all of my fears and ignites all of my dreams – someone that makes me want to chase passions instead of questioning them.

Then maybe we could escape the world together.

Maybe we could fall in love and forget all of our worries and our doubts in another place. Could we, maybe, find the escape we both need within the space between our bodies? Between the space that we’d never willingly leave? How nice would it be to find somebody that makes you need nothing else?

Life is hard. Sometimes we need to turn it all off, ignore all of the noise, and block out the fears thumping on our hearts. But I think it would be easier with you. I think it would all make just a little more sense with you. Maybe – if I found you – there would be less in this world that I would want to run from.

Maybe you’re exactly what I’ve always been running towards.

At the end of a tough hour, we look for a song to cool our minds, at the end of the day we look for a break from reality, and at the end of a year, we look for a turning point to end a cycle. So we ignore texts and phone calls. We ignore responsibilities. We ignore checklists and notes we’ve made. We ignore life for the escape that we crave.

Yet I want to find someone who I’d never want to escape because they would be the disruption from reality. They would be everything I’d need in the wake of anxiety. The liberation I wouldn’t want to leave, the release my body would need, and the light at every single dark tunnel. And maybe, in the end, this is something I’ve imagined based on storylines from all that horrible TV.

What are we really escaping in the end, except our own versions of reality?

 

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Originally published on Your Tango
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7 Comments

  • Reply Vance M September 28, 2016 at 12:15 pm

    I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. You have a way with words, and have always managed to capture thoughts in such a beautiful and eloquent way, yet touching in the raw emotions lurking beneath the surface. Wanted you to know that your words continue to inspire all of us out there. I don’t ‘know’ you but feel lucky. I keep saying when you’re a big shot years from now, I’ll look back and say “oh Sonya, I knew her when she first started out many years ago”

    • Reply Sonya Matejko September 28, 2016 at 3:29 pm

      Vance! It’s always so lovely to see you commenting on my articles. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to stop by and especially for the kind words. I’m glad someone out there is connecting to the raw emotions I so openly display, because inspiring people is all I can hope for. I hope that you’re doing well and continue following your personal passions! xo

      • Reply Vance M September 28, 2016 at 6:38 pm

        I’ve actually resigned myself to live vicariously through others like yourself. Who are brave enough, and bold enough to live the life I can not live for myself right now. As I’m sure you know I’ve been one of your avid readers for some time now.
        My sense is that you are tapping into something I’ve long discovered. New York has a special kind of feeling for me, it’s a sense of hope, inspiration, and bravery. I feel it every year I go there to visit my family. I don’t really call it home, even though my family is still there. I kinda smiled at one of your recent posts, there was a picture for The Highline; I like that spot because it’s where I feel most inspired. Anyway what I wanted to say is that you’re exactly where you need to be; and it reflects in your work. For the days when you feel unsure, lol just remember “Vance said you’re right where you need to be”.
        Keep up the great work, and I’ll continue to live and be inspired by your truth, vulnerability and bravery.

  • Reply Maria del mar September 30, 2016 at 7:50 am

    I’ve missed reading you girl. Lovely post. I’m sharng it in my GOGGLE +

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