Single Strides

The Magic Of Being Alone And Why It Doesn’t Have To Be Lonely

December 20, 2016
lonely

There’s a difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone means there’s no significant other to wake up next to, to call when we get good news, or to kiss goodnight after a long day. Being lonely means living perpetually in a world not being able to escape ourselves and craving anything but our own company.

But just because we’re alone doesn’t mean we should be lonely.

By being alone we have the space to explore the world on our own terms. We can turn, we can twist, we can double back and we can dance. We’re not following anyone, and by the way we’re moving… no one would be able to keep up. 

By being alone we have the room to discover parts of ourselves we didn’t know existed. We get the chance to dig deep into our souls and learn what makes our heart race. We don’t have our other half – just yet – so we use that room to fill it with passion, adventure, and the natural joy of being alive.

By being alone we have the option to do whatever we please. We can quit our jobs and escape the world. We can stay in on a Friday and eat all the things, or go dancing with the girls until the sun comes up with our heels dangling in our hand. We can. We do. We can do anything we want to.

Just because we’re alone doesn’t mean we should be lonely.

It can be hard to be alone – I get it. A part of us wants the hero to join our love story. A part of us wants to kiss someone at noon and not just at midnight. A part of us wants security even if it means responsibility. A part of us wants earth-shattering love.

It can be hard to be alone – but we get through it. We can be our own hero and throw away the blank pages to let life write itself. We can stop kissing frogs and just wait for the one that matters.

We can embrace having no refuge because it forces us to be strong. We can dream of earth-shattering love but never let reality without it become a nightmare.

It can be hard to be alone – and we’ve all been there. We’ve all wondered when our time would come. We’ve sat looking at social media thinking about what the rest of the world was up to. We’ve all watched the clock move as slow as molasses and wondered when we wouldn’t feel like this anymore.

The thing is, when we’re alone we have a choice. We have a choice to not be lonely.

We are in the most opportune part of our lives to set fire to our world and leave a mark that will burn forever in many hearts. This is the time – our time – to take insecurity and build it into a success story. This is the moment where we run into the unknown carrying nothing but our heart on our sleeve.

We are in the greatest time of our existence. We can choose to open our hearts up to the universe and to break down the walls we’ve built. We can save ourselves and we can bring smiles to the faces of those around us. We can be a heroine and save the world just by adding joy to it.

Because we don’t have to be lonely just because we’re alone.

Solitude can be nourishing to the mind and meditation for the heart – but that’s until it becomes a punishment. Hiding can feel necessary but no one has ever looked back at a time they were afraid and wanted to return.

It might seem easier to isolate ourselves from the world we perceive as cruel – but nothing good comes easily.

It might feel like we are stuck. It may feel like we’re slipping deeper into a quicksand of loneliness and no one is there to offer a hand. Maybe we feel helpless. Maybe we feel like we’re out of options. Maybe we’ve given up. And maybe that way of thinking is exactly why we are alone.

But we don’t have to be. We don’t have to be lonely.

We are full of stardust and possibilities. We a compilation of every sunset we’ve ever seen. We – just we – are anything and everything we want to be. And it’s about time we share ourselves with this world. It’s about time we spread the magic that lies at the tips of our fingers and falls off the edges of our smiles.


We are alone, but we are not lonely. We are blessed to have this time with ourselves – and the best thing we can do is go show the world what we’re made of.
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Originally published on Huffington Post
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