Falling Apart

I Admit, I Wish I Could Be More Like You

October 19, 2015
I Wish I Could Be Like You
I wish I could be like you.

I wish I could wake up with all the night’s stars in my eyes and go on to light the day. There’s a confidence in the gentle smile you wear when people look at you. It’s as if it melts away worries and brightens dreams, and does so humbly. So you look on as if the whole world is gently lying on your lashes. You reach with the hand that hangs with the heart on your sleeve – scared of nothing.

I wish I could be like you with the way you have the potential to take your ambitions and turn them into adventures. Your desire is driven by a passion that is unheard of, and you carry a lust for life like a double-ended rope. You understand that everything that happens must, and everything that will happen does. You understand that life is unpredictable and still led by your own will. You dance in spite of the paradox.

I wish I could be like you the way you have your life together mostly because you’ve fallen apart. You can hear how strong you are in your laughter, and how broken you come because you proudly share your scars. The stories are honest, and they are true; there’s nothing to hide when it comes to you. I am envious of your seeming apathy and the sage knowledge that it only makes you bolder.

I wish I could be like you. You don’t let others walk all over you because you’re too busy walking forward. You are fine with not seeing a path and making your own; it’s a road you’re proud to be on because you welcome the steps you took to get to there. You admire your past while flirting with your future. You manifest your Destiny and let Her lead you to where you belong simultaneously.

I wish I could be like you. You are the sun. You are the moon. You are the first cup of coffee on a tired morning. You are the first snow on an overdue winter. You are a much-needed breeze on a summer afternoon. You are the happy ending as much as you are a book’s beginning. You are everyone’s favorite color and your voice is everyone’s favorite song. You are the moment you find laughter after the longest cry. You are the fiercest storm that no one can stop, and you are a falling tide when you know it’s time to, well, stop.

So yes, I am epically jealous of you and your wild spirit. You know what you want and you know what you offer. Yet you act modestly beyond your years. You do not boast nor do you judge. You are simply you and own life as yourself. I look at you with such eager and an urge to be equally as free. What does it take to wake up with the determination to live so vigorously and make it look so easy?

I wish I could be like you. Could I, maybe, just for today? Could I be like you? Maybe I could. Maybe today is the day that I am you. Maybe today I finally look you straight in the mirror and fully understand that I’ve been you all along. I am you. You are the girl I know I can be. You are the woman I’ve spent my life becoming. You are not my potential but you are my present self. There is nothing to be jealous of the person that lives inside of me. I just need to bring her out of me. Because you get it now, don’t you? You are the reflection I wake up to.

You know you’re already amazing… don’t you?



  • Reply sopurkha October 20, 2015 at 7:58 am

    Yes, i do…and still I’d like to thank you for the reminder.

    One third of the way through this article I thought perhaps these were a compilation of words that others bestowed upon you over time; some lofty compliments sprinkled throughout. I enjoyed that you owned these in the end. We all have the spectrum inside us….and it’s devastating when we humans dismiss our goodness.

    Brava, muah.

    • Reply Sonya Matejko October 20, 2015 at 5:51 pm

      Hi Sopurkha! So happy you already recognize that you’re amazing 🙂 but also glad I could offer the reminder. Never let your goodness dim, xoxo.

  • Reply Sam October 21, 2015 at 3:51 pm

    Hey girl! You already know I’m a fan of you and your writing. Just wanted to let you know I nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award!

    • Reply Sonya Matejko October 21, 2015 at 3:55 pm

      Ah I love it! Thank you so much. I need to check out some of your recent writing because you know I’m equally a fan of yours 🙂

  • Reply Tia November 7, 2015 at 2:05 am

    I never comment on anything… but I literally googled “tell me something beautiful” and through a series of clicks was lead here. This is beyond beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

    • Reply Sonya Matejko November 8, 2015 at 9:02 pm

      I am thrilled that that is what led you to my blog!! You’re so very welcome and I hope you stop by again 🙂

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